Confession is Good for the Soul
by SMK KMS
Summary: Just what does our Scarecrow have to confess? And what will the consequences be if he fails to cough up the truth?


Disclaimers: The characters in this story are copyrighted by Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon Productions. I make no money from these characters; I simply like to share their world for a short time.

A/N This story line has been running around in my head for a while now, but I just wasn't sure if I could pull it off convincingly. Hopefully I have! It's set somewhere during the second half of season three and goes not really AU but more out of canon from there.

Hope you enjoy! (Constructive reviews are always welcome.) A special thanks to Bruce Boxleitner and Kate Jackson—as well as the rest of the cast—for portraying these characters so wonderfully.

The voices in the Q Bureau were getting louder and louder. While Mrs. Marston couldn't understand the words, she could certainly tell that the two occupants were having one of their infamous _discussions_. This particular one had been going on for a good five minutes when she heard the Film Library door slam followed by the sound of heels rapidly descending the steps behind her.

"That man can be so infuriating," mumbled Amanda King under her breath as she tossed her ID on the desk on her way out of the Agency.

A few seconds later she heard another set of footsteps on the stairs.

"Mrs. Marston . . . could you please tell me where _Mrs. King_ was headed?" Lee Stetson asked through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry Mr. Stetson, but Mrs. King didn't inform me of her destination. She did leave the building, so I figure she was headed home to her family for the weekend."

"Right . . . well . . . if she should come back, would you please tell her I need to see her as soon as possible so we can wrap up the paperwork on our last case. Thank you." He turned and slowly made his way back up to the Q Bureau. Just how was he supposed to get this report to Billy on time now? Amanda knew his typing skills were terrible. Plus she had been on the case with him; she knew as many of the details as he did. Why did she have to abandon him right at this moment?

Face it Stetson . . . you know damn well why she abandoned you. Every time a case gets dangerous . . . every time you need to rescue her—or she needs to rescue you . . . every time you feel yourself getting too close emotionally to the lovely Mrs. King . . . you find some excuse to pick a fight. And this last one was a humdinger.

He sat down at his desk and looked at the report that had sparked the fight. There really wasn't anything there to fight about. So why _had_ they fought? His mind drifted back to the case.

It had been a fairly routine surveillance assignment that had rapidly gone south when they had spotted the suspect entering an abandoned warehouse. He had gone in for a closer look, instructing Amanda to stay in the car and call for backup if he wasn't out in ten minutes. His first clue that something was wrong should have been her muttered "stay in the car, Amanda . . . don't worry about me, Amanda . . . just call for backup, Amanda . . ." as he exited the 'Vette. He could still hear her words in his head as he approached the warehouse door. Because he was distracted, he failed to notice the wire by the doorway-a wire that, unfortunately, tripped an alarm when he opened the door to enter. Once the alarm sounded, all hell broke loose. Shots were fired, suspects were trying to escape, and backup was nowhere to be seen.

Till everything was said and done, every one of the suspects had managed to escape. Luckily Lee had only suffered a graze wound on his right arm, and Amanda had come through unharmed even though she had come rushing up to him as soon as she had seen him go down. Never mind that she was walking into a gunfight- _that_ little fact didn't seem to worry her. In fact, he would bet she didn't even realize she could have been injured . . . wounded . . . even killed!

And there was the heart of the matter. She could have been killed! Amanda . . . the suburban mother of two . . . the person he had unwittingly recruited into this crazy business . . . the one who had, against his vehement protest, become his partner . . . the partner who had become his best friend . . . the best friend who was becoming so much more—even if he didn't have the courage to tell her. Hell, he barely had the courage to acknowledge it to himself.

So he reacted the only way he knew how. He put up a wall around his heart and took out his frustration on the one person that didn't deserve it. He had picked that fight to hide the fact that he had been scared out of his mind.

Oh well. Guess he would just have to muddle through the report and just hope Billy could read and understand it. As for Amanda, he knew she just needed time to calm down and cool off. Maybe he'd swing by Maplewood Drive sometime over the weekend and mend some fences, so to speak. In the meantime, he had better get this report finished and on Billy's desk before the end of the day.

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Amanda, on the other hand, couldn't get the recent argument out of her head. The further away from the agency she got, the angrier she became. _Infuriating_ didn't even begin to cover her feelings for Lee at the moment. After all, he was the one that had gotten her into this crazy business . . . the one that had become her partner, even it if was amidst vehement protests at first . . . the one that had turned into her best friend . . . the one that had become so much more to her than she wanted to admit. There were so many reasons why they shouldn't get involved on a personal level. There were so many reasons why a romantic relationship between a suburban mother of two and a playboy spy with four black books wasn't a smart idea. There were so many reasons why it wouldn't work. But her heart kept telling her differently. Deep down, she loved Lee Stetson. She knew he felt it too! But every time she found them getting closer, he would find some reason to push her away . . . some reason to pick a fight . . . some reason to _infuriate_ her! And this time, she had reached her limit.

Changing lanes quickly, she made her way through traffic toward Dulles. She was beginning to formulate a plan—one which would either make or break the team of Scarecrow and Mrs. King.

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Lee had somehow managed to get his report done and on Billy's desk by 5. He arrived at his apartment a short while later with his dinner of take-out Chinese and a splitting headache. After downing several aspirin and half of the Lo Mein—as well as a few shots of scotch—he decided a nap was in order. Maybe a little sleep would help the headache? But as he lay on the couch and closed his eyes, images of the beautiful Mrs. King kept parading through his mind. He needed something to take his mind off her. Maybe a night out? No, his head was still pounding and his heart just wasn't in it—not if Amanda wasn't by his side. Maybe a movie? Everything on TV reminded him in some way of Amanda. More scotch? Now there was a solution to his problems—at least temporarily.

Morning found him passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of scotch on the floor beside him. It was well after noon before he regained consciousness and closer to dinnertime before he had managed to take a shower and begin to feel semi-human again. While the liquor had helped ease the pain of missing Amanda, it had done nothing to solve his problems, and the brutal reality of his situation shook him to his core. He loved her, and he needed her in his life. There—he had finally admitted it to himself. Now the sooner he told her—confessed to her—the sooner he could begin to piece his life back together.

Best to wait until later tonight, he thought, when her mother and the boys would most likely be asleep. In the meantime he could grab a little something to eat and try to decide exactly what he was going to say when he saw her.

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Ten o'clock found the 'Vette pulling up to the curb a few doors down from 4247 Maplewood. From this vantage point, he could see Amanda's car in the driveway; lights were on in the kitchen. He quietly made his way into the back yard and slowly peeked through the kitchen window. Luckily Dotty's back was to the window! She was making her nightly drink, milk with a splash of Galiano. She finished up, turned the lights off, and headed up the stairs. Where was Amanda? Damn, he missed her. She must have gone to bed already! Now he had to wait till he was sure Dotty was sound asleep before he could try to get Amanda's attention.

After another thirty minutes of waiting in the 'Vette, he wandered to the side of the house and tested the trellis. He gingerly climbed to the second floor and looked through the window into her bedroom. But the bed was empty. In fact, it was still made. Come to think of it, the window had been complete shut. Didn't she always sleep with it open just a crack? It appeared that she wasn't home. But her car was there. Was she out on a date? No, he couldn't fathom that scenario; his heart stopped at the thought of her in someone else's arms. Had she been kidnapped? Highly unlikely, as Dotty had seemed calm and Billy hadn't contacted him with any such news. So where was she? Maybe she was visiting a neighbor and would be walking home any minute now? Yes, that had to be it. He would just go back to the car and wait.

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As the sun began to rise over the neighborhood, Lee slowly pulled away from the curb. He had been awake all night, sitting in the cramped confines of his beloved car. While it handled like a dream, it wasn't exactly comfortable for his 6' 2" frame during a prolonged stakeout. Stakeout? Yeah, that's exactly what he had been doing. And it had been an extremely unproductive stakeout at that. Just where could she be? She hadn't mentioned any weekend plans. Maybe she and the boys had gone away with the Junior Trailblazers? But why was her car in the driveway? This was rapidly becoming worrisome. Maybe he should check in with the Agency.

Billy was off-duty this weekend, but Francine greeted him with her usual sarcasm.

"Well, you look like you've been through the wringer, Scarecrow. Rough night out on the town?"

"Can it, Francine. Has there been any unusual activity in the past 36 hours or so? Any reports of agents missing? Ransom notes? Anyone reported through NEST? Injuries that would require hospitalization?"

"No, it's been extremely quiet . . . almost too quiet, if you ask me. Do you have something to report?"

"Not really—just trying to put a few puzzle pieces together. Nothing more than a hunch at this point and definitely nothing to worry right now. If I come up with anything concrete, I'll let you know. In the meantime I'm going to contact a few of my family . . . just to see if they've picked up on anything," Lee added.

Francine simply stared at his back as he left the bullpen. Lee, chasing non-existent leads? Hopefully his hunch turned out to be nothing. What had sparked his concern? She knew _Billy_ was fine; she had just talked to him on the phone ten minutes ago. Who else could he be worried about? Well, there was one other person, but she couldn't believe that he would be this concerned about Amanda!

As Lee climbed the stairs to the Q Bureau, he couldn't help but worry. Just where was she? Maybe between his family and the computer he could find answers to some of his questions.

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Five hours later and he was still as stymied as he was before. None of his family had any information on the whereabouts of his lovely partner. The computer showed no trace of her, either. But then, he wasn't exactly the best at coaxing information out of the infernal contraption; that was Amanda's specialty.

He was exhausted, hungry, and frustrated. He decided to swing by Maplewood Drive and see if there were any obvious changes. Maybe . . . just maybe . . . he would find her safe and sound in her home. If not, it was going to be a long night!

Needless to say, the trip to Arlington was unproductive. There was still no sign of Amanda, and he had skulked around the back yard for over an hour. Dotty didn't seem worried, and Phillip and Jaime were home. The car was in the driveway, just like yesterday. Deciding that there were no clues here, he slowly headed to his apartment for the night.

He heated the leftover Lo Mein, but it remained untouched. He alternated between pacing across his living room floor, sitting on his couch running his hands through his hair, and looking out the window hoping to see her familiar car pass by. Where could she be?

Just before midnight he took one last trip to Arlington and climbed the trellis one more time. As before, her bedroom window was closed and her bed still made. Back at his apartment, he finally fell into a troubled sleep. He was exhausted, but thoughts of Amanda kept haunting his dreams.

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Amanda's dreams, meanwhile, were being haunted by Lee.

After making arrangements with one of the rental car companies located adjacent to Dulles on Friday, she had headed back to Maplewood Drive to pack and write a few notes. A quick phone call to her father's old fishing buddy, Hunter Conrad, and all her plans were finally in place.

When the rental car was delivered, she thanked the driver, double-checked that the large envelope for her mother was on the kitchen island, placed her bags in the trunk, and headed to the grocery store for supplies. She needed to stop by the Agency before leaving, but she wanted to make sure to do so well after Lee had left for the day. She definitely didn't want to risk running into him—not right now. She was still furious at him for his behavior. It was bad enough that he failed to treat her with respect as his partner. It was worse, however, when he kept pushing her away personally. She loved him and had for quite some time. And she knew, deep down, that he loved her. It was time to force his hand; she was tired of this game of cat and mouse. He was either going to own up to his feelings, or the partnership of Scarecrow and Mrs. King would be history. She couldn't keep going like this.

As the sun began to set, she steered the rental car toward Georgetown. Entering the foyer, she was greeted by Mrs. Marston's now-empty desk. Security was entirely electronic in the evenings, thank goodness. She could leave the large envelope, addressed to Mr. Melrose, on the desk without being interrupted. She knew Mrs. Marston would see that Billy got it first thing Monday morning.

Back in the rental car, she consulted her map, then began her long drive into the mountains of Virginia. She was headed to her father's old fishing club. Mr. Conrad had gladly told her where the key was hidden. He wished her well and told her to stay as long as she wanted, as no one had any plans to use the facility at this time of year. She had only been there twice with her father, but she was confident that she could find it again. And it was just the secluded place she needed to sort out her feelings. Would Lee miss her? Only time would tell.

Early Saturday morning found Amanda on a series of narrow, dirt roads which led to the fishing cabin in the hills of western Virginia. Having driven all night, she was truly exhausted. She quickly unpacked her supplies, then headed to the closest of the bunk beds for a nap.

Unfortunately, sleep eluded her. Visions of her dashing spy kept parading through her mind.

Maybe she just needed something to take her mind off Lee Stetson. Well, she might as well go collect some firewood. While the day was fairly warm, she knew that once the sun went down the cabin would become quite chilly.

Unfortunately, even the physical demands of collecting, chopping, and stacking the wood did little to take away the pain of missing Lee. Deep down she knew it wouldn't be any different if she were at home. Lee had his own life. Why should he be interested in a divorcee with two growing boys and a live-in mother? The thing was, though, she knew he was interested . . . more than interested. He was just too scared to admit it—even to himself.

After a simple supper of soup and grilled cheese, she finally sank into the bunk bed with a sigh. Physical exhaustion took over, but visions of Lee were still in her dreams.

She filled Sunday morning's hours with a ten-mile hike. How she wished Lee was there to share the beauty of the mountains with her. She wondered what he was doing on this beautiful day.

Arriving back at the cabin, she decided to give it a thorough cleaning. It looked like it hadn't seen a dust cloth or mop in forever! It was the least she could do for being permitted to use it, even if her father had been one of the founding members. Cleaning was also very relaxing for her—at least she hoped it would be this time.

As night fell, her thoughts continued to turn to Lee. Did he realize she was gone? How would he react tomorrow morning when she didn't arrive in the Q Bureau?

She was also concerned about how Mr. Melrose would take the note she had written. She knew her mother would understand, although it would take some explaining when she returned home. But Mr. Melrose . . . well, she was fairly certain he already knew. She just hoped he would abide by her wishes.

Settling into an uneasy sleep, her dreams once again were invaded by her handsome spy.

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When Billy arrived at the Agency on Monday morning, Mrs. Marston looked up from her desk with a curious expression.

"What's with that look, Mavis?" he questioned.

"This envelope is for you—delivered late Friday evening by Mrs. King. I had the boys check the surveillance tapes before I touched the thing. You can never be too careful, you know. But if Mrs. King delivered it, I'm sure it's perfectly safe."

"Thank you for being careful. I'm sure, too, that it's just fine . . . although I am a little intrigued. When Lee and Amanda get here, would you please tell them I would like to see both of them as soon as possible."

Mrs. Marston simply nodded and placed the rather large envelope in Billy's hand.

He shut the door as soon as he reached his office. If Amanda King had left something for _him_ and not Lee, he was sure it wasn't meant to be shared with anyone else. He emptied the contents on his desk. There was a sealed envelope, addressed to Lee, along with a letter to him.

 _Mr. Melrose –_

 _I'm sorry to do this without asking you first, but I am taking the next week off. After the botched case last Friday, I simply need some time. Lee and I had quite an argument, and I am just not sure I can continue to work like this._

 _Lee has probably been looking for me, and I'm sure he will be upset. Just tell him that I need some time to think—away from everyone. I know he will try to find me, but hopefully I've managed to avoid being tracked._

 _I do have to ask a favor of you, sir, but I don't quite know how . . . so . . . here goes . . . Please keep the envelope addressed to Lee in a safe place. It is to be given to him only when and if he admits to you that he loves me._

 _You see, sir, he's been trying to avoid his feelings for me. He's tried to bury them deep inside. I know he gets angry with me; that's his way of dealing with being frightened—both for my safety and for the emotions he's feeling. I love him, too—but you can't tell him that! Because I love him, I'm not sure that I can continue to work with him and for the Agency if he's not willing to acknowledge his feelings._

 _If, at the end this week, he hasn't claimed his letter from you with those magic words, then I know I'll have to move on._

 _I'm hoping . . . praying . . . that he will make the confession to you. Please do not prompt him; this must come from him and him alone. I hope you understand that._

 _Thank you for being such a good friend to both of us and for understanding._

 _Amanda_

Wow! He always knew they were more than just partners. He could certainly honor Amanda's request. He just hoped Lee came to his senses, and soon.

He quickly stashed both his letter and the envelope for Lee in his desk drawer when there was a knock on his door. Looking up, he motioned for Lee to come in.

"Billy, you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, I did. Where's your partner?" Lee missed the grin that fleetingly crossed his boss's face.

"That's what I'd like to know," exclaimed Lee. "She's disappeared, Billy. Her car is in the drive. Her mother and the boys are home and don't appear to be concerned. I've talked to my family; no one has seen or heard anything. I've checked everywhere. It's like she was abducted by aliens or something." He plopped down in a chair, running his left hand through his hair.

"What if I told you that I know what's going on," questioned Billy.

Lee's head spun to look at his boss. "You know what's going on? What's happening? Is she safe? Where is she? When will she be back?"

"Hold on there, Lee. I'm sorry, but that's all I can tell you; it's Need to Know."

"What do you mean 'Need to Know'?" She's my partner, Billy."

"Some things just can't be shared; you of all people should know that. And before you argue, I know you have a higher security clearance than she does. That doesn't make a difference in this case. This discussion is closed. Here's your next assignment," he added as he handed Lee a thick file. It's just setting up security for the party at the British Embassy on Sunday evening. You shouldn't need any help, but if you do, there's always Francine."

"Fine . . . be that way!" he exclaimed as he strode out of the office.

His mood only darkened as he made his way upstairs to the Q Bureau. No Amanda and a chicken-feed assignment to boot. It was going to be a long day.

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Luckily Lee finished with the security plans by quitting time; it really had been a simple assignment. As he made his way back down to Billy's office, he tried to formulate a plan to get his boss to tell him what was going on . . .

After a quick knock, he entered and tossed his work on Billy's desk and his body into his customary chair.

"The plans are all there. I even double-checked with the Embassy—standard precautions only."

"Good, then I'll expect you there Sunday evening to make sure everything runs smoothly. You can get Francine to go with you; you know she'll love the chance to wear one of her designer gowns."

Here was his chance! "What about Amanda? She is my partner, after all."

"I don't know if she'll be available," Billy countered. While he wouldn't betray Amanda's wishes, he could try a few sneaky tactics to get his best agent to open up.

"But that's almost a whole week away. What am I supposed to do in the meantime? I'll go crazy upstairs by myself . . . especially if you keep giving me these _rookie_ assignments."

"I was thinking about that. It might not be a bad idea to give you some help up there . . . maybe someone from Beaman's latest class? I hear he has several excellent candidates right now. After all, you did such a good job training Amanda."

"I don't want one of Beaman's trainees, Billy! I want _Amanda_."

Billy just sat back in his chair, looked Lee in the eyes, and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What I mean is . . . ah . . . I want someone with Amanda's level of training. I can't keep breaking in new recruits."

"That's funny. Seems to me you think of Amanda as a new recruit. Aren't you always telling her to wait in the car—relegating her to simple surveillance and calling for backup?"

Lee sunk down into his chair. Isn't that what had started their fight a few days ago? He suddenly found the carpet in front of his chair extremely interesting.

"Ah . . . hell . . . I miss her, Billy. Didn't Francine tell you I was in here Saturday conducting a search? We had a horrible fight on Friday, and she stormed out. I thought she went home. I've been over there the past two nights hoping to talk to her, but she hasn't been there. She hasn't been anywhere. And now you're telling me that she's on an assignment that will take her away for over a week? I can't believe she would agree to that long of an assignment; she wouldn't want to be away from her boys for that long."

"For an intelligence operative, you certainly aren't very intelligent, are you? Think about it, man! Did I tell you she was on an assignment?"

Lee just shook his head.

"I told you I knew what was going on. There's a difference."

"Oh, no. My instincts were right. She's totally steamed at me, isn't she?" He got up and began to pace. "She's leaving the Agency . . . I just knew it!" His fingers were now going through his hair.

"Sit down, son. Pacing isn't going to get you anywhere, and it _will_ wear a hole in my carpet!"

Lee threw himself into the chair but refused to look at his boss.

"Calm down. She's gone away to do some thinking, and that's all I know. She asked for some time off, which I granted."

Lee left out a huge sigh. "I've blown it, Billy. I've left my Scarecrow persona dictate my actions. I've left my emotions get the best of me. I get so scared when she does things like she did last week. She could be killed out there; she just doesn't realize the gravity of the situation. So I hide behind my anger . . . when I really need to . . . " He was close to tears.

"To _what_ , Lee?" Billy asked gently.

"To admit that I love her," Lee said, barely above a whisper.

"To admit it to myself, but most of all to admit it to her," he said—forcefully this time. "Billy, I just can't imagine going on without her in my life. I've never felt this way about anyone, and it scares me to death."

"There, was that so hard?" Billy smiled as he looked Lee in the eye. "I've known for a long, long time that the two of you were meant for each other. Now take this and get out of here. You're off the duty roster until the party Sunday evening." He opened his desk drawer and handed Lee the envelope addressed to him.

"Thanks, Billy . . . thanks a lot," Lee grinned as he recognized Amanda's writing on the envelope. He just hoped it contained good news . . . news that she was willing to forgive him for being a first-rate jerk. News, perhaps, that she loved him too? But wait, what if it was the news that she never wanted to see him again?

"Ah, thanks again for the time off." As he headed out of the office and toward the parking garage, he kept thinking about their argument. Please let it be good news . . . let it be good news . . .

The drive back to his place had never seemed so long, as he had decided to wait to open the letter until he was in the solitude of his apartment.

He quickly opened his door and tossed his keys on the table just inside. Loosening his tie, he sat on the couch and stared at the letter. Now he was scared. With his heart in his throat, he opened the envelope and began to read.

 _My Dearest Lee_ –

Boy did he hope that opening meant the letter contained good news!

 _I love you. Actually, I have loved you for quite some time. But I know how scared you are of those three little words. I also know, however, that you wouldn't be reading this if you hadn't admitted your love for me to Mr. Melrose. Because he's the boss, I trusted him to follow directions. And his directions were to give this to you if and only if you confessed to him._

 _I know it cost you dearly to admit the depth of your feelings to Billy. I'm so proud of you, Sweetheart._

Did she just call me Sweetheart? His was grinning from ear to ear.

 _I know you have a difficult time with emotions, and sometimes you use anger to hide your true feelings. Our argument on Friday is a perfect example._

 _That is why I decided to take a little time away . . . time to think things through . . . time for both of us to come to terms with our emotions._

 _I would love for you to join me so that we can discuss our future._

Do we have a future? He certainly hoped so!

 _As the Agency's best intelligence operative, I'm sure you realize by now what you need to do to locate me. Mother knows exactly where I am; she even has a map. But like Mr. Melrose, she's been instructed to only give it to you if you come to the house, ring the front door bell, and introduce yourself as Lee Stetson—not Stedman. You have to tell her that you are my boss at work and that you are falling in love with me. (Mother will have questions, but I've already told her that we will answer any and all of them when I return.)_

 _Lee, if this is to work between us, we have to let Mother and the boys in on our relationship._

 _I am waiting for you; I love you._

 _Amanda_

Wow . . . she loved him! Oh no . . . he was going to have to face Dotty. While it hadn't exactly been easy to admit his love to Billy, he realized Billy had probably figured it out anyway. His Section Chief had been hinting at their relationship for a while now.

Dotty, on the other hand, was a different story. He had only ever talked to her on the phone, and even then he had used the name Stedman. From what Amanda had told him, she would give the KGB a run for their money in the interrogation department. He had never dated someone with a live-in mother and children before. Well . . . he had never been in love before, either. Eva and Dorothy had been special, but they weren't in the same league with his Amanda.

 _His_ Amanda! How he loved the sound of that. What he really wanted to do was go get the map and drive like a maniac till he got to his Amanda and he could take her in his arms.

But he needed a plan for Dotty. This one would be much tougher, as he figured Dotty knew nothing about him. Hell, she didn't even know his real name. He wondered what she could be thinking, even now, after the note Amanda had apparently left for her. Would she be angry? Probably. Would she abide by her daughter's wishes and give him the map? Absolutely; she could do nothing less for her daughter. Would he and Amanda be in for a royal interrogation when they returned? You bet!

One step at a time, Stetson, he told himself. He decided it would be best to wait until morning, after the boys were off to school. Until then, he was going to practice his best Stetson charm. And try to get some much needed sleep; tomorrow was going to be a long but exhilarating day.

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At precisely 9 a.m. Tuesday morning, Lee rang the doorbell at 4247 Maplewood Drive. His left hand then reached up to straighten his favorite tie; his right hand was behind his back holding a rather large bouquet of flowers.

"Yes, can I help you?" asked Dotty as she opened the door.

"Mrs. West, I'm Lee Stetson, your daughter's boss at IFF."

"Well, hello Mr. Stedman. This is an unexpected visit. Is everything okay at work?"

She was indeed good! While she might not have believed that he would show up on her doorstep, she certainly knew the score.

"Everything is fine. Actually, it's more than fine," he replied with a dimpled grin. "These are for you," he said as he produced the bouquet from behind his back. Stetson charm, don't fail me now he thought to himself with an inward sigh.

"Thank you . . . they're beautiful," she stuttered.

He could tell she was definitely flustered.

"Where are my manners? Please, come in. Would you like a cup of coffee, Mr. Stedman?"

"That would be wonderful," he exclaimed as he followed her to the kitchen. "Please . . . call me Lee. And it's Stetson, not Stedman."

"Sorry, Mr. _Stetson_ . . . Lee. How do you take your coffee?" He certainly was a charmer, she thought to herself . . . and not bad to look at, either. No wonder her daughter was smitten. Seeing that he had appeared on her doorstep, he was apparently just as smitten. He had admitted he was Amanda's boss, and he had corrected his name. Only one more thing on the list . . .

"Just a little cream, thank you." So far, so good . . .

Dotty gestured for him to take a seat at the island as she poured two cups and fixed them. As she finished and took a seat across from him, the silence became awkward. She wasn't going to make this easy for him.

"Ah . . . Mrs. West . . . I want to try and explain a few things. I know you're going to have questions, and I'll try and answer them as best I can. I also know, from Amanda herself, that she promised you we would sit down with you when she returns for a long discussion."

Dotty just nodded her head.

"Well . . . see . . . Amanda and I have actually known each other for almost three years. And while I am technically her boss, we actually partners. I've never had a partner quite like her. She's amazing."

"Unfortunately, I tend to treat her poorly at times when we're on the job. Believe me when I say that I truly regret that . . . and it will be stopping immediately. See . . . until I met Amanda, I was somewhat of a loner. Being raised by my uncle, a career Air Force officer, didn't help; my parents were killed in an automobile accident when I was only five. I still have a tough time showing emotions and admitting my feelings—even to myself. Unfortunately, I've been in denial for a long, long time. I've been denying my feelings for your daughter, both to myself and to her. Well, that stops right now. I'm not _falling_ in love with Amanda; I am _in love_ with her."

"Now was that so hard, Lee?" questioned Dotty with a grin. She was beginning to see just why her daughter was over the moon for this handsome man. He had met all her daughter's requirements, but she wasn't ready to hand over the letter and map just yet.

"So tell me . . . just what do you plan on doing about your feelings? I don't mean to pry . . . but I am her mother. I don't want to see her hurt again. Joe King is a darling man, but what he did to her and my grandsons is unforgiveable!"

She definitely wasn't going to let him off the hook, was she?! He didn't know if Amanda had admitted her feelings to Dotty, so he decided it would be best to play it safe.

"I plan on taking things slow. I don't exactly have a great track record with women and relationships, and I don't want to mess this up. Amanda is too important to me. I'm just hoping she'll give me a chance. Through IFF, I've been invited to the gala at the British Embassy this Sunday evening. I thought that might be a terrific first date, what do you think?"

"Oh, I think that sounds perfectly lovely, Lee."

"Maybe dinner and dancing on Friday evening would be a better idea. You know, a little less pressure," he suggested with his famous Stetson smile.

"That sounds lovely, too. You know, why don't you plan on both." She just hoped her daughter would agree; Amanda could be stubborn at times. "I don't see any reason why I can't look after the boys both evenings."

He was hoping Amanda would be thrilled—two nights out, complete with babysitter! While Sunday was technically work, it was an easy assignment. And he could pick her up at the front door now that Dotty knew about him—just like a real date. Friday, of course, would be the real deal . . . if he could find her and she could forgive him for acting like a complete horse's ass.

Dotty got up from her chair and opened the pantry door, retrieving an envelope from the top-most shelf. "I believe this is yours, Lee. I think you've met—exceeded even—the criteria my daughter set down. Just remember," she reminded him as he reached for the envelope, "I don't want to see my daughter's heart broken."

He took the envelope, then brought her hand to his lips and gave it a gallant kiss. "Don't worry, Mrs. West. I promise not to break her heart." I just hope she doesn't break mine, he sighed to himself.

He politely excused himself, thanking Dotty for the cup of coffee. As before, he wanted to wait and open the envelope in private. While he was almost certain of its contents, there was still a bit of doubt. Maybe it was just that he couldn't believe his good fortune.

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Another hour found him headed west. After looking at the map, he had made a quick stop back at his apartment to change into more appropriate clothes. From what he could determine about the location of the cabin, jeans and hiking boots seemed a little more appropriate than a suit and tie. He had also swung by a liquor store and picked up a bottle of champagne. If things went the way he hoped, they would have quite a bit to celebrate.

The long drive also gave him plenty of time to think about what he was going to say to try and make up for the way he had treated her. He just hoped she had it in her heart to forgive him.

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Amanda had spent the past few days enjoying the solitude of the cabin. She knew that it would probably be another day or so before she could realistically expect Lee . . . and that was _if_ he had the courage to admit his feelings to Mr. Melrose _and her mother_. If not, she knew what she had to do. While she knew it would be next to impossible, she would have to leave the Agency.

By Tuesday afternoon, she had looked at all the old hunting and fishing magazines she had found in the cabin, as well as played about a hundred games of solitaire. The weather was perfect, so she decided to pack herself a picnic dinner and head up to the lookout over the nearby stream. It was only about a mile hike along a well-worn path. As long as she watched her time, she could enjoy her picnic and still make it back to the cabin before nightfall.

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Lee approached the cabin cautiously, leaving the 'Vette parked about a hundred yards away. While Amanda's map had been quite easy to follow, he was still anxious. Despite her letter, he knew she was probably still angry at him for his actions last week.

In true Stetson style, he decided to surprise her by tapping on the window—just as he had done so many times at her kitchen window in Arlington.

But as he was tapping on the window, he realized that the cabin was empty. There were signs that she had been there . . . her suitcase on one of the spare beds, her clothes neatly folded on one of the chairs, her dishes in the drainer by the sink. He assumed the beige sedan next to the woodshed was her rental. So where was she? Had one of his enemies found her before he had? He highly doubted that, but he was concerned nonetheless. Perhaps she had left a clue inside?

He entered the cabin, his 'spy' senses in overdrive. Based on the bread crumbs on the counter and the empty jar of mustard in the trash, it looked like she had recently made a sandwich. Okay, Stetson, use your training, he chided himself. Well . . . the crumbs were still slightly soft, so they couldn't have been left since lunch. Had she made the sandwich for dinner? And if so, where was she? It was almost 6 p.m.

As he looked out the rear window, he spied a trail leading into the nearby trees. His sixth sense told him that she had probably decided to take a stroll—maybe even pack a picnic dinner. At least he hoped that was it; anything more sinister caused his heart to skip a beat or two.

Returning to the 'Vette, he quickly threw his canteen and a flashlight into his backpack. Better take the first aid kit along too, he thought . . . and his stash of granola bars. Of course, he gun was secured, as usual, in its shoulder holster concealed by his lightweight jacket.

He quickly set off on the trail, hoping to find his Amanda. It wasn't long before he could hear a small stream, its flowing water visible between the leaves on the trees.

A little farther on, he could see that the trees were beginning to thin slightly. There appeared to be a small clearing up ahead. Wait . . . was that a flash of red he spied?

Just as he was ready to pull his gun from its holster, he realized that he was seeing the object of his search, dressed in jeans and her favorite red plaid shirt. And she was alone . . . well she _was_ accompanied by a harmless picnic basket.

He stood and watched her as she watched the water rushing by in the stream. God was she beautiful! Why had it ever taken him so long to admit his feelings? And to think she felt the same way about him! If only she could forgive him for his recent actions.

As he stood along the path contemplating how to approach her, she slowly turned to look at him. She had somehow felt his presence . . . had known that he was near.

"Amanda, I . . . "

"SSShhhh," she said as she placed her fingers on her lips.

As one, they walked toward each other until they were only inches apart. As one, they pulled each other into an intimate embrace, their lips meeting in a long, sweet kiss.

"Please don't say a word, Lee. Your being here tells me everything I need to know. I'm so proud of you, Sweetheart. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to open up to Billy . . . yet alone my mother."

"That's where you're wrong, Amanda. Confessing my love to them is the second easiest thing I've ever done."

She looked at him skeptically. "So what was the easiest thing?" she asked quietly.

"Confessing it to you. I love you, Amanda King!"

A/N To be continued? Let me know your thoughts! (If I didn't stop it here, it would have ended up twice as long!)


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